Why did God make mothers?

Answers given by 2^nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3.. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of ?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

WHEN YOU STOP LAUGHING --
SEND IT ON TO OTHER MOTHERS, GRANDMOTHERS, AUNTS
And anyone else who just needs a good laugh!

One last election joke

One last election joke

The following is a funny and true story shared by KC Williams who teaches Government at Santa Fe High School. In one of KC's classes, they were discussing the qualifications to be president of the United States. It was pretty simple:

The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age.

However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president.

KC and the class were just taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone's jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating, "What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by c-section?

Gifts That Don't Cost

Gifts That Don't Cost


THE GIFT OF LISTENING...
But you must REALLY listen. No interrupting,
No daydreaming, no planning your response.
Just listening.

THE GIFT OF AFFECTION...
Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats
On the back, and handholds. Let these small
Actions demonstrate the love you have for family
And friends.

THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER...
Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories.
Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."

THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE...
It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or
A full sonnet. A brief, hand-written note may be
Remembered for a lifetime... It may even change a life.

THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT...
A simple and sincere, "You look great in red,"
"You did a super job" or "That was a wonderful
Meal" can make someone's day.

THE GIFT OF A FAVOR...
Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.

THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE...
There are times when we want nothing better
Than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times
And give the gift of solitude to others.

THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION...
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind
Word to someone, really... It's not that hard to say,
"Hello" or "Thank You" or "I love You".

THE GIFT OF FRIENDSHIP...
Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed.
They make you smile and encourage you to succeed.
They lend an ear, they share a word of praise....
And they always want to open their hearts to us.

Author Unknown

"Without Ribbons and Bows"

"At the focal point of all human history, a point illuminated by a new star in the heavens revealed for just such a purpose, probably no other mortal watched--none but a poor young carpenter, a beautiful virgin mother, and silent stabled animals who had not the power to utter the sacredness they had seen. Shepherds would soon arrive and later, wise men from the East. Later yet the memory of that night would bring Santa Claus and Frosty and Rudolph--and all would be welcome. But first and forever there was just a little family, without toys or trees or tinsel. With a baby--that's how Christmas began. It is for this baby that we shout in chorus: 'Hark! the herald angels sing Glory to the newborn King! . . . Mild he lays his glory by, Born that man no more may die; Born to raise the sons of earth, Born to give them second birth' (LDS Hymns, no. 209)."

--Jeffrey R. Holland, "Without Ribbons and Bows", New Era, Dec. 1994, 6

Fun new game

Rules:

* Grab the book nearest you. Right now.

* Turn to page 56.

* Find the fifth sentence.

* Post that sentence along with these instructions in an email to all your friends.

* Don't dig for your favorite book, the coolest, the most intellectual. Use the CLOSEST.

MIME IS:

"If there were any reason to strike Laman, his words against his father's vision of a promised land, his mockery of the Messiah, and his harsh words towards his mother were more than enought, but Nephi kept his hands down, his fists pressed against his sides." (Day of Remeberance by David G. Woolley)

"You Know Enough"

"Challenges, difficulties, questions, doubts—these are part of our mortality. But we are not alone. As disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, we have enormous spiritual reservoirs of light and truth available to us. Fear and faith cannot coexist in our hearts at the same time. In our days of difficulty, we choose the road of faith."
--Elder Neil L. Andersen, "You Know Enough", Ensign, Nov 2008, 13–14

"The Infinite Power of Hope"

"Hope is one leg of a three-legged stool, together with faith and charity. These three stabilize our lives regardless of the rough or uneven surfaces we might encounter at the time... Hope in our Heavenly Father’s merciful plan of happiness leads to peace, mercy, rejoicing, and gladness. The hope of salvation is like a protective helmet; it is the foundation of our faith and an anchor to our souls."

--Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "The Infinite Power of Hope", Ensign, Nov 2008, 21–24

Buzzard, Bat & Bumblebee

THE BUZZARD: If you put a buzzard in a pen that is 6 feet by 8 feet and is entirely open at the top, the bird, in spite of its ability to fly, it will be an absolute prisoner. The reason is that a buzzard always begins a flight from the ground with a run of 10to 12 feet. Without space to run, as is its habit, it will not even attempt to fly, but will remain a prisoner for life in a small jail with no top.

THE BAT: The ordinary bat that flies around at night, a remarkable nimble creature in the air, cannot take off from a level place. If it is placed on the floor or flat ground, all it can do is shuffle about helplessly and, no doubt, painfully, until it reaches some slight elevation from which it can throw itself into the air. Then, at once, it takes off like a flash.

THE BUMBLEBEE: A bumblebee, if dropped into an open tumbler, will be there until it dies, unless it is taken out. It never sees the means of escape at the top, but persists in trying to find some way out through the sides near the bottom. It will seek a way where none exists, until it completely destroys itself.

PEOPLE: In many ways, we are like the buzzard, the bat, and the Bumblebee. We struggle about with all our problems and frustrations, never realizing that all we have to do is look up! Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up!

"Help Thou Mine Unbelief"

"Developing faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is a step-by-step, line upon line, and precept upon precept process. We promote the process of strengthening our faith when we do what is right-increased faith always follows as a consequence."

--Elder L Whitney Clayton, "Help Thou Mine Unbelief", November 2001 ,Ensign pg 28

"Walk in the Light"

"Choices are not always easy to see clearly. You make choices every day and almost every hour that keep you walking in the light or moving away toward darkness. Some of the most important choices are about what you set your heart upon."

--Henry B. Eyring, "Walk in the Light", Ensign, May 2008, 123–25

"Choose You This Day"

"The choices we make determine our destiny."

--Thomas S Monson, "Choose You This Day", Ensign, November 2004 pg. 67

"Looking Back and Moving Forward" II

"Mortality is a period of testing, a time to prove ourselves worthy to return to the presence of our Heavenly Father. In order to be tested, we must sometimes face challenges and difficulties. At times there appears to be no light at the tunnel’s end—no dawn to break the night’s darkness. We feel surrounded by the pain of broken hearts, the disappointment of shattered dreams, and the despair of vanished hopes. We join in uttering the biblical plea “Is there no balm in Gilead?” We are inclined to view our own personal misfortunes through the distorted prism of pessimism. We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone. If you find yourself in such a situation, I plead with you to turn to our Heavenly Father in faith. He will lift you and guide you. He will not always take your afflictions from you, but He will comfort and lead you with love through whatever storm you face."

--Thomas S. Monson, "Looking Back and Moving Forward", Ensign, May 2008, 87–90

"Looking Back and Moving Forward"

"I know that God loves us. He allows us to exercise our moral agency even when we misuse it. He permits us to make our own decisions. Christ cannot help us if we do not trust Him; He cannot teach us if we do not serve Him. He will not force us to do what’s right, but He will show us the way only when we decide to serve Him. Certainly, for us to serve in His kingdom, Christ requires that we experience a change of thought and attitude."
--Thomas S. Monson, "Looking Back and Moving Forward", Ensign, May 2008, 87–90

"We Will Not Yield, We Cannot Yield"

"It requires courage to make good choices, even when others around us choose differently. As we make righteous choices day by day in little things, the Lord will strengthen us and help us choose the right during more difficult times."

--W. Craig Zwick, "We Will Not Yield, We Cannot Yield", Ensign, May 2008, 97–99

"Out of Small Things"

"In the meridian of time, among other things, the Savior gave a touch here, a kind word there, food (both real and spiritual) to the hungry, advice and counsel to those in need. He gave prayers with the frightened, kindness to the passed-over, respect and affection for the children, loving care for those who are burdened. “And thus we see that by small means the Lord can bring about great things."

--Stephen A. West, "Out of Small Things", Ensign, May 1999, 28

"Do You Know Who You Are?"

"The knowledge that Heavenly Father loves us and that we are His children gives us strength, comfort, and hope to live this mortal life. Allowing the Savior to atone for our sins is the greatest expression of our Heavenly Father’s love for each of us. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

-Dean R. Burgess, "Do You Know Who You Are?", Ensign, May 2008, 53–55

"Service, a Divine Quality"

"Kindness, love, patience, understanding, and unity will increase as we serve, while intolerance, jealousy, envy, greed, and selfishness decrease or disappear. The more we give of ourselves, the more our capacity to serve, understand, and love will grow."

--Carlos H. Amado, "Service, a Divine Quality", Ensign, May 2008, 35–37

"HIS HANDS"

I do not know how to post a video so here is a site with a beautiful song by Kenneth Cope (Writer) I love the sone and the video is great too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFibyjcyYsE

Tribute to the Missionaries that have crossed my path.

These are some of the mant Missionaries that have touch my life. I have wonderful memories of the wonderful work and service that Missionaries preform.

I have kept in touch with some of the missionaries that have crossed my path. But, sadly I have lost touch with many of the ones that have truely left a mark in my life.

Elder Bracah & Phersom-1976 Elder Creps-1976 Elder Udy-1976

Elder Norlem & Blackburn-1999Sister Robin Erikson & Companion-1987 Elder Hollingsworth, Palmer & Kinder-2000

Elder Poe & Elder Peterson-2000 Elder Anderson & Eriksen-2001 Elder Anderson, Curnett & Webb-2001 Elder Kohl-2001

Elder Davis & Miller-2002 Elder Bensen-2003 Elder George, Christiansen, Sister Roberts & Bucanan-2003

Elder Howard & Lockhart-2003Sister Buchanan & Sister Roberts-2003 Elder Andrews-2004

Elder Franklin & Fisher-2004 Elder Pennington & Andrews-2004 Elder Spencer & Franklin-2004

Sister Baxter & Schear-2005 Sister Baxter & Averett-2006 Sister Shearer, Twitchell & Welch-2005

Sister Miller & Little-2006 Sister Neilson & McArthur-2006 Sister Russell & Averett-2006

Elder Iwasawa & Haslam-2008