The Laws of Ultimate Reality

**Law of Mechanical Repair **
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

**Law of Gravity **
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

**Law of Probability **
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

**Law of Random Numbers **
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

**Law of the Alibi **
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

**Variation Law **
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time - and I mean EVERY time).

**Law of the Bath **
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

**Law of Close Encounters **
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

**Law of the Result **
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

**Law of Biomechanics **
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

**Law of the Theater **
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

**The Starbucks Law**
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

**Murphy's Law of Lockers **
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

**Law of Physical Surfaces **
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

**Law of Logical Argument **
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

**Brown's Law of Physical Appearance **
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

**Oliver's Law of Public Speaking **
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

**Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy **
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. (AMEN!)

**Doctors' Law **
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

Wet Pack Cannery - Golfers

Today we went down to Kent Washington, to the Chruch Wet Pack Cannery (Dry Pack is near Mount Vernon). We were there for 2 1/2 hours. We helped can Taco Meat. The canning was great. First the men were in charge of cooking the hamburger. (This is where they had Shiloh working). Then they added the seasoning. (Ashley was in charge of measuring out that - she got to weigh it and give it to Shiloh and he took it over to the vats and helped dump it in). Some of the women put the hot meat into the cans and others placed the open cans on a conveyor belt. And still others qualilty checked the cans to make sure that they were filled enough. (That is what I did - QA). They told use that we canned about 50 cases. It was fun and we will go back again.

We did not stay for the whole thing. Ashley was getting tired and so was I.

We ate lunch at a place called Red Robin's (Great hambugers). I had a Hamburger Ashley had a Club sandwich and Shiloh had a Chicken burger. We all had milk shakes mine was chocolate, Shiloh had raspberry and Ashley had Blueberry. !!!!!!!YUMMY!!!!!!

Then it took 3 hours to get home. (59 mile) Traffic was yuckie bumper to bumper. I thought that it was because the Dali Lama was in town but Ashley said it is like this all of the time.

After we got home and helped Bill look for dead mice under the house, Ashley and Shiloh went out to look for plants to put in the planters that are in the back yard.

It is 70 degrees here today. Yesterday it was 39 degrees.

The golfers have been out all day. There was even a crash (Golf Carts) in my back yard. Those guys are drinking and having too much fun and not looking where they were going and one stopped and the one behind kept right on going. Luck that they dont go very fast so no injuries were REPORTED. LOL

It makes for a very relaxing evening to sit and watch the glofers and the sunset in the back yard. Lots of laughter and darns and TWANGS (that is the sound of the club hitting the ball). The lady golfing is not me!! Just a neighbor from around here. I do not know how to golf. And I don't think that I will learn anytime soon!

If you ever need a break from life come on over and relax in a chair on the back porch.

"The Holy Ghost"

--Marion G. Romney, "The Holy Ghost", Ensign, May 1974, 90

"Receiving the Holy Ghost is the therapy which effects forgiveness and heals the sin-sick soul."

The Golden Thread of Choice

--Howard W. Hunter, "The Golden Thread of Choice", Ensign, Nov. 1989, 17

"To fully understand this gift of agency and its inestimable worth, it is imperative that we understand that God’s chief way of acting is by persuasion and patience and long-suffering, not by coercion and stark confrontation. He acts by gentle solicitation and by sweet enticement. He always acts with unfailing respect for the freedom and independence that we possess. He wants to help us and pleads for the chance to assist us, but he will not do so in violation of our agency. He loves us too much to do that, and doing so would run counter to his divine character."

Most important thing a father can do!

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother"

David O. McKay - Richard Evans Quote Book, 1971, p. 11