Thursday, January 29, 2009

Why did God make mothers?

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.


How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3.. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.


What ingredients are mothers made of ?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.


Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.


What kind of little girl was your mom?

1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.


What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?


Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.


Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.


What's the difference between moms & dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.


What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.


What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

WHEN YOU STOP LAUGHING --
SEND IT ON TO OTHER MOTHERS, GRANDMOTHERS, AUNTS
And anyone else who just needs a good laugh!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

The Saga of My Tree - The tale goes on

Dec 30, 2008
Dec 31, 2008
Jan 2, 2009 - 9:00 am
Jan 2, 2009 - 9:30 am
Jan 1, 2009 - 4:00 pm
Jan 2, 2009 - 4:30 am
Jan 14, 2009
Jan 15, 2009
Jan 16, 2009
Jan 17, 2009

One last election joke

One last election joke

The following is a funny and true story shared by KC Williams who teaches Government at Santa Fe High School. In one of KC's classes, they were discussing the qualifications to be president of the United States. It was pretty simple:

The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age.

However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president.

KC and the class were just taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone's jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating, "What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by c-section?

Gifts That Don't Cost

Gifts That Don't Cost


THE GIFT OF LISTENING...
But you must REALLY listen. No interrupting,
No daydreaming, no planning your response.
Just listening.


THE GIFT OF AFFECTION...
Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats
On the back, and handholds. Let these small
Actions demonstrate the love you have for family
And friends.


THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER...
Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories.
Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."


THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE...
It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or
A full sonnet. A brief, hand-written note may be
Remembered for a lifetime... It may even change a life.


THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT...
A simple and sincere, "You look great in red,"
"You did a super job" or "That was a wonderful
Meal" can make someone's day.


THE GIFT OF A FAVOR...
Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.

THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE...
There are times when we want nothing better
Than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times
And give the gift of solitude to others.


THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION...
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind
Word to someone, really... It's not that hard to say,
"Hello" or "Thank You" or "I love You".


THE GIFT OF FRIENDSHIP...
Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed.
They make you smile and encourage you to succeed.
They lend an ear, they share a word of praise....
And they always want to open their hearts to us.

Author Unknown